Listening to someone who self harms when they open up can be a big help to them. It can be difficult to know how to respond. It is a natural response to want to offer a solution to their situation. But the most important thing is to listen to what the person is saying and let them know you are there for them
When someone tells you that they self harm it is important not to get angry, blame them or shame them. It is important to stay calm and have an open conversation. You may be confused as to why a person self harms it is important to put your own thoughts or opinions on the back burner they are the focus not you. It is important to not to pressure them to stop or imply they are doing it for attention.
Remember self harm is not a choice or somones fault but is complex and the person needs support. Telling a person to stop may add to their distress as people often self harm as a way to deal with complex emotions. It is important to listen and help them find support
It is important to listen to what they are telling you as it is a big step forward to share what they are going through. They have chose you for a reason so respect this trust and be ready to support them
Do not focus on the physical side of self harm but what they are feeling. Feelings of depression and anxiety can cause people to self harm as a form of release from overwhelming emotions. Let them talk about what can be done to make the situation better and offer support to help them cope better during this difficult time.
Let them know you are there to support them, they are looking for someone to listen and offer understanding. Discuss together what the next step should be. It is important to ask the person what they would like to do, if they would like immediate help. Suggest getting in touch with a charity that supports people who self harms and do an internet search. If they do not want immediate help ask them what they would like to happen next and how you can help. You cannot force a person to seek help. See my blog on supporting a person to seek help for a mental health problem
Guide them to support that is available use Internet searches, information on private and nhs therapies. Visit gp to see what help is available maybe a good starting point